Unsatisfying “Underworld”

27 01 2009

underworld1

“Underworld: Rise of the Lycans” 2009

Starring: Michael Sheen, Bill Nighy, Rhona Mitra, Steven Mackintosh

I usually find it more difficult to write a review for a movie I loved than for one that I hated. “Underworld: Rise of the Lycans” seems to be an exception to my rule.

From what I can gather, this is the storyline (assuming there was a storyline, and not just a vague scribble of dialogue designed to accommodate the showy special effects): Apparently, the vampires and the werewolves don’t like each other, but the live together as master and slave, respectively. The werewolves seem to have more power outside of the vampire fortress walls, though it takes them far too long to decide to revolt and run, despite their strength in numbers and their seriously intimidating alter-egos.

The vampire princess has inconveniently fallen in love with the werewolf king, thus providing a predictable foundation for the ultimate battle between the two monster kingdoms. If you are still interested in how the story ends then you are just the audience this film intends to target. For the rest of you, those who care about anything more than dizzying slaughter scenes and gratuitous gore, I recommend that you take a pass on this film. Spend your nine dollars on lunch. It will be much more satisfying.

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One response

4 04 2009
Uncle Joe

Howdy there!!
Meggie, I really like your writing!! I had no idea you were so literate. Congrats!! Happened across your blog but since I became semi-computer literate they already have “twitters”—hard to keep up.
Since this space is about vampire flicks, am able to recommend a good one from Sweden entitled: “Let the Right One In”. Just recently caught it myself.
In lieu of March Madness, will be trying to make some contact with your dad. Motivations are selfish as am trying to set up Summer travel plans thro’ him. Please keep my e-mail bet. us for the time being. Thanx mucho!! So long and “happy Blogging”.
L,
U. Joe

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